I am at a major training block. Not that I was ever good at going out and training, but I feel physically unable to do any real work. I don’t know if this is coming from being truly tired, a mental block, or something else. Since I finished my last race Labor Day I have been feeling much more tired than normal. Since I currently have no races that I am registered for I decided to follow an ironman distance training plan. Not so sure this was a good decision. It is starting to stress me out.
I go for a run and it is harder than when I first started running. Biking is frustrating. Swimming was fine until my last workout when I was supposed to do a 2X1,000 yd as my main set. Monday I did bootcamp and was planning on running or biking in the afternoon, but never got around to it. Tuesday I was gonna go for a run, but like Monday that never happened. Both days I felt like I physically could not go. Even if I made it a short workout.
Today was the big crash. I had a swim workout that consisted of 4X400 each 400 increasing in speed. No problem. Get to the pool and get a lane to myself. I did my 250 warm up easy. The first half of the first 400 was easy, but my mind was scattered. By the end of the first 400 I was beginning to freak out. I decided to finish the workout doing whatever felt right. I did some kick sprints and free style sprints. As I finished my second 400 people started showing up for the masters swim class. Between the increase in people and the speed I was swimming at my anxiety went through the roof. I don’t know what it is about swimming at anything but warm up speed but it makes me feel very anxious, I feel my heart rate increase, not from the physical act, my mind starts freaking out. This is my biggest problem with the swim leg of triathlons, add a mass start to a sprint and I freak out and can’t breath.
So many jumbled thoughts going through my head. So this is where we go onto another, but similar train of thought.
I think I have some sort of mind block that is causing me to not lose weight. When I workout I don’t sweat and I am terrible at pushing myself. I get to the point where it starts getting hard and I quite. I once ran an entire 5k after swimming a half mile. It felt so good when I was done. I didn’t care that it was slow. It just felt good to accomplish a big goal. Before that I thought running for 5 minutes was hard. I haven’t been able to do that since. I think the longest I have run since was 15 minutes. Yesterday I decided to run up Mt Sanitas. It is 3.1 miles round trip. The up is difficult. I knew it was going to be a challenge but I was planning on running the whole thing with no walking breaks. I really want to get rid of my stomach flubber but so far have been thwarted. I have lost a total of about 12 lbs in a year. Not a very good number. I eat good. Workout several days a week. I feel like I am holding on to something. I don’t know what it is though. Other than being jobless I have an awesome life.
I have been thinking a lot about this especially after I kicked my but yesterday on my attempted run up Mt Sanitas. I made it 1/4 mile up before I was too tired to go on. I chose to go up the main trail instead of the easier valley. Bad idea. It was so steep that at times I couldn’t even run.
I feel like I need something to work towards besides weight loss. There is a half marathon in February that I have been thinking about doing. I don’t currently have the money to sign up but I am going to try training for it on Monday. My plan this time is to not follow a plan, just run 3 – 4 times a week for an hour or so.